Not Every Emotion Needs a Diagnosis
A Guest Post By Clementina Jose
“I think something’s wrong with me because I get angry so easily,” or “I was really sad for a few days, maybe I have depression or am bipolar?”
During my years as a social work supervisor, responsible for eleven K-12 schools, I heard comments like these every day. All it took was a midweek breakdown from a student to unleash these thoughts.
But I get it. The pressure to feel "okay" all the time is real. There’s a subtle (and sometimes loud) message out there that you should always be happy, grateful, calm, and productive. If you’re not, you might start thinking you’re broken or worse, start diagnosing yourself based on TikToks or Google searches.
Now that I’m no longer in schools every day, I’m writing this for the students I used to see and for any young person who’s ever felt overwhelmed by their own emotions. My hope is to offer reassurance, clarity, and a reminder that feeling deeply doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you’re human.
All Emotions Are Normal (Yes, Even the Messy Ones)
Whether it's sadness, anger, frustration, guilt, or anxiety, these emotions aren't signs that something's wrong with you. They are signs that something matters to you.
Anger can mean your boundaries are being crossed.
Sadness might show up when you’ve lost something important or you feel disconnected.
Anxiety could be your body’s way of keeping you alert in uncertain situations.
These emotions are information, not factory malfunctions.
But when we grow up believing that certain emotions are “negative,” we start to hide them. We push them down. We say we’re fine when we’re absolutely not. And over time, that emotional stuffing can lead to burnout, relationship issues, or even a distorted view of ourselves.
The Danger of DIY Diagnosing
Here’s something I saw often with students and today, even new professionals: they experience strong emotions and immediately jump to self-diagnosis. And while it’s a good thing that more people are open to talking about mental health, we also have to be careful.
Feeling sad ≠ having clinical depression.
Being nervous about a presentation ≠ having an anxiety disorder.
Getting overwhelmed during a stressful week ≠ being emotionally unstable.
Diagnoses are complex, and they are best left to clinicians who consider more than what you are feeling in a moment. They consider: - how long something lasts, how intense it is, and how it affects your ability to function in your daily life.
That’s why mental health literacy, specifically understanding the difference between emotional distress and a diagnosed mental illness is so important.
When we jump straight to self-diagnosis, we often end up pathologizing completely normal human experiences. And when that happens, we can either minimize real suffering or create unnecessary fear around feelings that are part of everyday life.
You Are Not “Too Emotional”
One of the most heartbreaking things I’ve heard from students is, “I think I’m just too emotional,” or “I hate that I feel things so deeply.” And I always responded: your capacity to feel is not a flaw. It’s a superpower, and I don’t mean that in a cliche way. The problem isn’t that you feel too much. The problem is we live in a culture that doesn’t teach us how to sit with what we feel. We’re taught to distract, to numb, to “suck it up,” or to slap a label on our pain and move on. But real emotional growth and real mental health come from learning how to stay with those feelings long enough to understand them. That’s where self-awareness starts. That’s where healing begins.
I always encouraged my students to slow down and ask themselves why a feeling was showing up before jumping to the conclusion that it meant something was wrong. Anger, sadness, worry, none of these are “problems” to fix. They're invitations to get curious. And trust, the ability to feel deeply is one of the most valuable tools you can bring into the field of social work, or really, into any part of life.
So What Can We Do Instead?
Here’s what I try to remind myself (and the people I work with):
Normalize emotional ups and downs - No one feels amazing all the time. It’s okay to have rough days.
Validate your own experience - You don’t need a diagnosis to take your feelings seriously.
Seek connection, not correction - Talk to someone. Journal. Move your body. Whatever helps you connect to what you’re feeling instead of shutting it down.
Stay informed - Learn the difference between emotional reactions and clinical symptoms. This is mental health literacy in action, and it helps us make better decisions for ourselves and others.
Final Thoughts
If you’re a young person navigating your emotions, or someone who’s ever felt “too much” or “not enough,” I want you to know: you are not broken. Emotions are messy, and being human isn’t about staying happy. Instead, stay honest with yourself. That’s how we build resilience. That’s how we reduce stigma. And that’s how we grow.
So the next time a big feeling comes up, don’t push it away. Don’t diagnose it. Just sit with it. Listen to it. Let it teach you something.
About The Author
Clementina Jose is a higher education professional with nearly a decade of experience leading student-centered initiatives, supporting institutional equity efforts, and designing programs that foster belonging and success. As a program manager and doctoral student in higher education leadership, she brings both practical experience and critical inquiry to her work. Clementina also serves as a consultant and speaker, partnering with educators and institutions to move beyond surface-level approaches to equity and build learning environments rooted in care, accountability, and inclusion. Her work is driven by a deep belief that education should be a place where both students and staff can thrive, not just survive.
