Riverfront Park in Spokane, Washington, near Gonzaga University
By Amber Pike
When I was 16, I thought I had planned my entire life out: I was going to attend Gonzaga University, major in music education, become the next John Williams, and conduct music around the world. On Christmas Eve of 2018, my dream came true when I received my acceptance letter from Gonzaga. Spoiler alert: While I graduated from Gonzaga, I did not become a famous film composer, and I don’t have a degree in music education.
Freshman year was a year of figuring things out. I quickly realized that something I had loved for years was beginning to feel more like a chore than a passion. Full days of private violin lessons, music theory, rehearsals, and symphony started taking a toll on me. Eventually, I had to face the music—literally. I realized I didn’t want to pursue music professionally anymore. That realization was scary because changing my major felt like changing the future I had pictured for myself for years. I made a complete 180 and switched my major to business administration.
Dear college student: It is okay to change your mind.
College isn’t a contract with the person you were at 16,18, 20, or even 22. You’re supposed to learn new things—not just in the classroom, but about yourself. Sometimes discovering what you don’t want is just as valuable as discovering what you do. Just as I was settling into my new major, making friends, and getting used to college life, COVID hit. Like millions of students, I went home. When we eventually returned to campus my sophomore year, things still didn’t feel normal. Most of my classes were on Zoom. We couldn’t have guests in our dorms, and I rarely saw many of my friends. I was grateful to be back at Gonzaga, but I also felt incredibly isolated. I had always been a strong student, and suddenly my grades started slipping. Concentrating became harder. Staring at a computer screen for class after class left me exhausted. I felt lonely and disconnected at a time when I needed community more than ever.
Then, during one of my many Instagram doom-scrolling sessions, I came across a post from a Spokane sorority announcing its recruitment schedule. I signed up. Even though recruitment happened over Zoom, those meetings gave me something I hadn’t felt in a while: excitement. I had something on my calendar to look forward to. I’ll never forget the feeling of receiving a bid and officially becoming a sister. Joining that community didn’t magically solve every problem in my life, but it reminded me that I wasn’t meant to navigate everything alone.
Dear college student: Never underestimate what can happen when you try something new.
My junior and senior years looked completely different. There were still challenges, but I began finding both my people and my purpose. One of the most meaningful communities I found was through Housing and Residence Life. Some of my best friendships started because of a job. Housing taught me far more than how to conduct nightly safety checks or plan residence hall programs: It taught me the power of making another person feel seen, heard, and cared for. Residents—sometimes students who weren’t even assigned to my floor—trusted me enough to share what they were going through. Later, as I supervised staff, some of the most important conversations happened during simple coffee check-ins.
Dear college student: Check on your people and surround yourself with people who check on you, too.
Fostering positive mental health isn’t about being happy every second of every day. Some semesters will be hard, some classes will challenge you, and some friendships will change. You might question your major, your career plans, your relationships, or yourself. Taking care of your mental health means learning what helps you navigate those moments. It might mean maintaining routines that keep you grounded, staying connected to people you trust, making time for things you enjoy, taking a break when you need one, talking to a counselor, asking a professor for help, or admitting that you’re struggling before everything becomes overwhelming. And sometimes, it means giving yourself permission to start over.
Outside of housing, I found another community through the Miss America Opportunity. I met incredible, like-minded women, stepped far outside of my comfort zone, and eventually earned my dream local title of Miss Spokane before going on to win Miss Washington. That experience gave me another lesson I wish I could give my younger self….
Dear college student: Always believe in yourself.
One of the values I learned at Gonzaga is Cura Personalis: to care for the whole person. I love that motto because mental health is part of caring for the whole person. Today, I work as a Student Support Coordinator, supporting mental health education, prevention, and intervention services for students across Washington state. It’s funny to think that the student who once felt lost, lonely, and unsure of where she belonged now gets to spend her career helping young people feel supported. My path wasn’t the one my 16-year-old self-planned, and I’m so grateful it wasn’t.
If you haven’t found your people yet, keep looking. If you aren’t sure about your major, keep exploring. If the class feels impossible, ask for help. If you’re lonely, tell someone. If your first plan doesn’t work, make another one. There are people you haven’t met yet who may become some of your closest friends. There are subjects you haven’t studied yet that may become your passion. There are opportunities you don’t even know exist yet that may completely change your life. You do not need to have everything figured out today. You are still becoming who you’re meant to be, and some of the best parts of your story may be the ones you never planned for.
“Things can get better: They will not always get brilliant, but they get better” -Daniel Radcliffe
About the Author
Amber Pike is a Gonzaga alumna with a bachelor’s degree and an MBA. She works as a Student Support Coordinator in Tumwater, Washington, and is passionate about supporting youth mental health. She enjoys exploring new coffee shops, playing trivia with friends, and spending time with her dog, Dobby.
